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Discovered: Albert Einstein's Lost Theory of Relativity

October 7th, 2009 @ 3:40 am

Categories: Management, Opinion

Tags: Bank, Theory, Reality, Julian Goldsmith

Einstein published two theories of relativity: special and general. I can now reveal his third, unpublished theory of relativity: reality relativity. This theory suggests reality is relative to where you stand. Or, to put it more simply, people believe whatever they want to believe.

If you want to believe that the world is the centre of the universe, that is fine. And if you are the medieval church, you burn anyone who disagrees.

This shows that reality is not only relative, it is defined by power. Reality is what your ruler (boss) tells you it is. This is a principle that has been followed by every dictator through the ages, and by quite a few CEOs today.

More recently, we have seen Einstein’s theory of reality relativity in action during the credit crunch:

  • Top bankers who were at the centre of destroying HBOS and RBS believing they did no wrong: they were simply “unlucky”, whereas in the good times they were skilful but not lucky.
  • Mortgage fraudsters who believed that they were not doing any wrong, because they were only taking money from banks. There is a thin dividing line between stealing from banks through mortgage fraud and stealing from banks through executive bonus fraud.
  • Gideon Gono, Governor of the Central Bank of Zimbabwe, is presiding over meltdown and trillion percent per annum inflation. He is convinced he is doing a good job because: a) no central bank governor has ever faced such challenges and b) the rest of the world, from America to China, is following his example of using the printing presses to stimulate the economy.

So, the full version of Einstein’s secret theory of relativity runs like this:

  • Reality is relative to where you stand: believe what you want.
  • People believe whatever makes them look best.
  • The more power you have, the more you can enforce you version of reality.

As managers there are two lessons we should draw from this:

  • Never believe our own propaganda. Try to keep in touch with whatever reality may actually exist out there. I blog, therefore I am….
  • Don’t fight other people’s view of reality. Like arguing with babies, god and taxi drivers it is an exercise in futility. Instead, think judo. Use their warped view of the world to flatter, cajole, influence and if necessary deceive them into supporting whatever brilliant or insane idea you may be promoting.

(Pic: Jeff Kubina cc2.0)

Jo Owen is a serial entrepreneur, author and business speaker.
 
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    mmfiore

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    Theory of Everything - Unified Field Theory

    As an alternative to Quantum Theory there is a new theory that describes and explains the mysteries of physical reality. While not disrespecting the value of Quantum Mechanics as a tool to explain the role of quanta in our universe. This
    theory states that there is also a classical explanation for the paradoxes such as EPR and the Wave-Particle Duality. The Theory is called the Theory of Super Relativity
    and is located at: Super Relativity
    This theory is a philosophical attempt to reconnect the physical universe to realism and deterministic concepts. It explains the mysterious.

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