Nick and Julia (names changed) were together for seven years. When they first met Nick, who works in IT, was attracted to Julia’s bohemian lifestyle. A struggling jazz singer Julia and her free-spirited friends celebrated their freedom from the rat-race.
Once they’d moved in together, things quickly fell apart. Nick started to feel peeved with paying all the bills and regularly lending Julia her tube fare as she was broke (again). There were constant rows followed by painful long silences and the relationship ended.
So what of Nick? Since parting he hasn’t looked back. In the last 12 months he has been promoted to Head of Infrastructure and now looks after a team of six. Once the red mist had cleared it became obvious that his relationship had been holding him back.
Julia had always made him feel silly for wanting to work hard and achieve career progression. With no-one sneering over his shoulder, he had taken the plunge and asked to be promoted. Losing touch with Julia and her crowd opened up new doors, new people and new opportunities.
This is an example of the how the company we keep in our personal lives can be detrimental to our work lives.
Ok, so no one can make you behave or think in a certain way — the responsibility for your choices lies with you. But the people we choose to allow into our lives have an impact on our views and perception of the world.
Who we choose to hang out with at work is equally important and can impact our careers and opportunities. Success in your career is influenced by who you know just as much as what you know. Like attracts like. If you are spending time with the ‘moaning and whinging’ crowd, the eternal victims who are always passed over for promotion, guess what? You’ll be next. Don’t assume those whinge sessions go unnoticed.
Take care as you pick as your mates, especially when you first join a company. Try to get to know as many people as possible and spend breaks with different groups. If someone spends the whole lunch hour complaining and full of negativity, give them a wide berth until you have a better idea of the office politics. Under no circumstances join in with the complaining to fit in. As the new person you’ll be under management’s radar.
The negative attitude will rub off on you, too. Before long a destructive work image will catch you off guard and become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Seek out positive role models in and out of work. Invite them out for lunch or catch up over a coffee. If you aren’t confident and don’t want to be direct, think of a project you are working on and invite them to share their viewpoint.
The more people you meet the luckier you’ll be in your career goals. Before you know it people will start seeking you out for all the right reasons.
